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“Racing Thoughts”(EED Monologues for Teens)

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“Racing Thoughts”

Second Place Winner!
By: Autumn D., Age 14, Maine, USA
Description: A child talks to their disappointing father
Genre: Dramatic

 

Sample Audio

 

The only way I knew you was from pictures.

Then you came waltzing into my life, wanting to be a part of my family.

I was excited and scared to meet you.

My mind and heart kept racing like a child running in a field or a dog who is nervous around new people.

I gave you a chance.

A chance to prove whether you would choose me over drugs.

We both know how that turned out.

I will never love you more than the parents I have now.

I know they used to be my aunt and uncle, but I needed a home.

They took me in, adopted me, and they love me more than you ever will.

You might think I’m overreacting but I’m not; that was proven when you went back in the cage.

You couldn’t stay away from bad people and drugs.

I am almost embarrassed to know you.

I remember when you said you loved me and called me your sweetheart.

I gave you the first and only hug I’ll ever remember.

But then you turned your back on me.

And now you’re angry at Mom (your sister) because you think she stole me, but legally I am hers; and no offense,

but I would choose her over you any day because she saved me.

She took me in when you chose to go do other things.

I am glad to be with her.

I was excited to get to know you, but you blew that chance.

You obviously don’t love me or think of me as your sweetheart.

And that’s ok because I don’t think of you as a family member.

I hope you can change your ways, and we can try again, but until then, my mind and thoughts just keep racing.

 

「駆け巡る思い」
2位受賞作品
作：オータム D. 14歳 アメリカ メイン州
概要：失望させる父親に対して子どもが語りかける
ジャンル：ドラマ

写真でしか知らなかったあなたが、突然私たち家族の一員になりたいと言って現れた時のことを覚えています。あなたに会うのが嬉しくて、でも怖くて、私の心と頭は、まるで広場を走り回る子どもや、新しい人に緊張している犬みたいにぐるぐるしていました。それでも、私はあなたにチャンスを与えました。薬物ではなく私を選ぶかどうか、証明するチャンスを。結果は二人とも分かっていますよね。

今の両親を、私はあなたより愛することは絶対にありません。今の両親はもともと叔父と叔母だったけれど、私には家が必要でした。彼らは私を迎え入れ、養子にし、あなたがくれることのない愛情を注いでくれました。あなたは私が大げさに反応していると思うかもしれないけど、そうじゃない。それはあなたがまた檻の中に戻ったことで証明されたでしょう。悪い人たちや薬物から離れられなかった。

私は、あなたを知っているのが恥ずかしいとさえ感じています。あなたが「愛しているよ」と言ってくれた時のことを覚えています。「スイートハート」って呼んでくれたあの時。私は初めて、そして唯一のハグをあなたにしました。でも、あなたは私を裏切った。そして今、あなたはママ（あなたの妹）に怒っていますよね。私を奪ったと。でも法的に私は彼女のものです。そして悪く思わないでほしいけれど、私は彼女を選びます。だって彼女は私を救ってくれたから。彼女は、あなたが別のことを選んで去った時、私を迎え入れてくれたのです。

私は彼女と一緒にいるのが嬉しいです。あなたのことを知りたかったけれど、あなたはそのチャンスを無駄にしました。あなたが私を愛しているとも、スイートハートだと思っているとも、全く思いません。それでもいいんです。なぜなら、私もあなたのことを家族とは思えないから。

あなたが自分を変えて、またやり直せるようになることを願っています。でもそれまでは、私の心と頭の中の思いはただただ駆け巡るばかりです。

 

Interesting Words and Phrases

  1. Waltzing into my life
    • Meaning: Entering someone’s life casually or unexpectedly, often without much concern for the impact.
    • Example: He waltzed into the meeting late as if nothing happened.
  2. Racing thoughts
    • Meaning: Rapid, uncontrollable thoughts that make it hard to focus. Often associated with anxiety or heightened emotions.
    • Example: As the exam approached, her racing thoughts kept her up all night.
  3. A child running in a field
    • Imagery: Suggests freedom, unpredictability, and energy—mirroring the speaker’s chaotic emotions.
    • Example: Her excitement was like a child running in a field, wild and carefree.
  4. Prove whether you would choose me over drugs
    • Meaning: A powerful statement about trust, love, and priorities, highlighting the father’s struggle with addiction.
  5. Turned your back on me
    • Meaning: Abandoned or betrayed someone.
    • Example: She felt like her friends turned their backs on her when she needed them most.
  6. Blew that chance
    • Meaning: Wasted or ruined an opportunity.
    • Example: He blew his chance to make a good impression by arriving late.
  7. Back in the cage
    • Meaning: Likely a reference to being imprisoned, either literally or figuratively due to addiction or poor choices.
    • Example: After getting out of rehab, he promised not to end up back in the cage.
  8. Legally I am hers
    • Meaning: Indicates a shift in guardianship or legal custody, reinforcing the rejection the child feels toward the father.
  9. Chose to go do other things
    • Meaning: Euphemism for neglecting responsibilities, often out of selfishness.
  10. Hope you can change your ways
    • Meaning: A mix of lingering hope and resignation, expressing a wish for the father to improve his behavior.

Themes and Tone

  • Disappointment and Betrayal: The speaker’s raw emotion stems from unmet expectations.
  • Hope and Closure: Despite the anger, there’s still a glimmer of hope for reconciliation, which adds depth.
  • Childhood vs. Reality: Juxtaposes the innocence of a child’s dreams with the harshness of adult failures.