11. Grow Up (EED Monologue)

“Grow Up”

 

First Place Winner!
By: Isaac T, Age 16, California, USA
Description: A kid gets called childish by their parents. Are they the childish ones?
Genre: Comedic

 

Sample Audio

 

 

You’ll never believe it, but my parents called me childish today.

ME! Childish!

The nerve of some people!

I mean, I’d get it if I acted like my younger siblings, throwing tantrums over practically everything, yet nothing at the same time.

But really, come on.

I’ve never felt so insulted in my twelve years of life!

I honestly have no idea what encouraged such name-calling, but it’s totally unacceptable!

If I had the power to do so, I’d throw those two parents of mine into the rubber room/ 

because something’s seriously got to be messed up /in those brains of theirs/  to think that I’m the childish one.

In fact, I’m the most mature person in my family!

It’s the two of them who are the childish ones!

Like, come on, you don’t see me over there talking in goofy voices and pinching the baby.

And I sure as heck don’t go through the trouble of doing silly things to see if I can make the kid smile.

What for? To see his gummy mouth?

If I want to see gums, I can go to the senior center!

Those people are always smiling at you without their dentures in.

And if that stuff wasn’t enough, you also got everybody over there wanting to feed that diaper-wearin’-goofball with a spoon they call “The Choo-choo.”

I don’t know about you, but I don’t find any joy in naming my eating utensils.

Oh, and let’s not forget the “Tea Parties” they go to with my sister and her dolls.

Not only do they sit there with a bunch of plastic-headed, button-eyed dolls, but there’s not even real tea at these tea parties!

What’s up with that?!

Yet there’s Dad over there pretending he needs a refill! A refill of what? Air?!

You know, as time goes on, I’m slowly starting to realize that even though my parents look old – at thirty-six years of age, they’re practically antiques!

They’re actually just a pair of little kids in disguise.

And despite what they say, it’s really those two / who need to grow up!

 

 

Japanese Translation

「信じられないかもしれないけど、親に子供っぽいって言われたんだよ！私がだよ！子供っぽいなんて！信じられる？だいたい、もし私が弟や妹みたいに、何にでも怒って泣きわめくような行動をしているなら納得するけど、本当に、勘弁してよね！12年の人生でこんなに侮辱されたことはない！一体どうしてそんなことを言い出したのかわからないけど、絶対に受け入れられない！もし私にその力があったら、あの二人をゴム部屋に放り込んでやるのに。だって、私が子供っぽいなんて思うなんて、彼らの脳がどこかおかしいに決まってる！むしろ、私が家族の中で一番大人だし！あの二人のほうが子供っぽいんだから！だって、私はあそこでバカみたいな声で話したり、赤ちゃんをつねったりしてないし。それに、赤ちゃんが笑うかどうかなんてくだらないことに手間をかけたりもしない。なんのため？歯茎を見るため？歯茎が見たければ老人ホームに行けばいいでしょ！あの人たちはいつも入れ歯なしで笑顔を見せてくれるし。そして、もしそれだけじゃ足りなければ、みんながあのオムツをしてるおバカをスプーンで食べさせてるのを見てみなよ。そのスプーンの名前を“チューチュー”なんて呼んでさ！わかんないけど、食器に名前をつけるなんて全然楽しくない！それに加えて、妹と彼女の人形たちと“お茶会”してるんだよ。しかも本物のお茶なんてないお茶会で！どういうことなの！？でも、お父さんはそこにいて、リフィルが欲しいってふりをしてる！何のリフィル？空気のリフィル！？時間が経つにつれて、だんだん気づいてきたんだけど、両親は見た目は年をとっているけど―36歳だし、ほとんど骨董品みたいな年齢だよね―実はただの変装した子供なんだって。それに、彼らが何を言おうと、成長が必要なのは二人のほうなんだよ！」

 

Interesting Words and Phrases

1. “The nerve of some people!”
   • Expresses indignation or disbelief at someone’s actions.
   • Usage: “The nerve of some people to cut in line without apologizing!”
2. “Throwing tantrums”
   • Having a childish outburst of anger or frustration.
   • Usage: “The toddler started throwing tantrums when he didn’t get his candy.”
3. “Totally unacceptable!”
   • A strong way to say something is not okay or appropriate.
   • Usage: “Being late to every meeting is totally unacceptable.”
4. “Rubber room”
   • Often used humorously to mean a place for people who are acting crazy.
   • Usage: “He’s so stressed; he might end up in the rubber room soon.”
5. “Gummy mouth”
   • Refers to a toothless mouth, often used for babies or the elderly.
   • Usage: “Her laugh was so big, you could see her gummy mouth!”
6. “Diaper-wearin’-goofball”
   • A playful, mocking term for a baby.
   • Usage: “That diaper-wearin’-goofball sure loves to crawl everywhere.”
7. “Naming my eating utensils”
   • Highlights the absurdity of giving inanimate objects playful names.
   • Usage: “I don’t get the hype about naming my car—it’s just a car!”
8. “Plastic-headed, button-eyed dolls”
   • A vivid description emphasizing the artificiality of dolls.
   • Usage: “The shelf was lined with plastic-headed, button-eyed dolls staring blankly.”
9. “Refill of what? Air?!”
   • A witty, sarcastic remark mocking something meaningless or absurd.
   • Usage: “He keeps pretending to write something—refill of what? Empty pages?”
10. “Practically antiques!”
    • A humorous exaggeration for someone relatively young but perceived as old.
    • Usage: “At thirty, he says he’s practically an antique among the interns.”